Conflict Resolution - A Misunderstood Perspective
Updated: Sep 11
Successful outcomes pend successful communications between people, yet, for as long as we have been humans, our species has struggled with the art of communications. Four things we can't get back in life is the word after is it spoken, opportunities once missed, time after its lost, and trust once it is gone. How we present ourselves to others in our willingness to serve them, is what we will be remembered for after we leave this earth.
Most conflicts are rooted in the perception that people do not feel safe. This feeling of lack of safety can include physical wellbeing, as well as emotional, and psychological safety. When we enter into a conflict with someone and we perceive them to be non-cooperative, or non-compliant, we neglect to consider lower level needs that are apparent as reflected in Maslow's Hierarchy. When we fail people on this level we judge them without looking beyond their behaviour, and we consider the conflict for its face value, when quite likely the conflict is other than what has presented itself.
Our ability to maintain long successful relationships lies in our ability to maintain our integrity in conflict and our fidelity to maintaining the dignity, and respect of the individuals we communicate with even when they may seemingly disrespect us, and our position in their world. When we acknowledge the core feelings of safety, or lack of it within the people we have conflicts with we open into opportunity to bond emotionally with them. When we get past the conflict at hand and tend to the underlying emotion, we bring people into our court and onto our team for life because they will be able to say that with us they feel safe, because they can share their intimate feelings.
People that are highly successful in the business world have a high IQ, but are gifted when they also have a high emotional IQ. Few people are strong in both areas naturally, but fortunately emotional IQ can be developed, unlike capacity for intelligence. When an individual is accountable to themselves first, and others second they affirm their feelings and chose their behaviours. When individuals operate with little awareness of themselves, or others they operate like reeds in a wind storm, blown to and fro. Once we have a clear establishment of our own personal boundaries we are better able to accommodate the needs of others without letting them pull us into the conflict emotionally. This way we are better able to serve them. Keeping the peace in all situations leads to happier circle of friends, and family, as well as creating a happy planet for all to dwell.